then, my friends, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids. just wait longer.) This quote is set on a classic Jersey cotton t-shirt. if the Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be. One of Ace Ventura quotes from Pet Detective (If Im not back in five minutes. Fulton Greenwall: Please forgive me sir but if we dont hurry now, we might miss. Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time. Ace Ventura: You know, you could poke somebodys eye out with that thing. Marino, has just brought some new evidence to my attention. Knish! Heh heh.oh, boy.Īce: Would you excuse me for just one second? Ladies and gentlemen. would a real woman be missing these?That kind of surgery can be done over the weekend! But I doubt he could find time in his. Jim Carrey didnt do sequels, but he made an exception for Ace Ventura and the result was hysterical, as evidenced by these hilarious quotes. you might read about a former Miami Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle, who missed a twenty-six yard field goal in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XVII. What you WOULDN'T read about is how Finkle lost his mind and was committed to a mental hospital, only to escape and join the police force under the assumed identity of a missing hiker, manipulating his way to the top in a diabolical scheme to get even with Dan Marino whom he blamed for the entire thing!Īguado: What the hell are you talking about?Īce: SHE'S NOT LOIS EINHORN! She's Ray Finkle! She's a man!Īce: Let's see who's lying, shall we? Would a real woman have to wear one of these? Boy, that's really on there! But tell me this. For instance: if you were to look up professional football's all-time bonehead plays. I mean it!Įinhorn: HE KIDNAPPED SNOWFLAKE! He killed Roger Podacter, and he was just about to kill Dan Marino and ME!Īce: Oh-ho-HO! Fiction can be fun! But I find the reference section much more enlightening.

Melissa: Put your guns down or this cop gets it.

Ace ventura pet detective quotes